FIRST DAY OF WORK EXPERIENCE :)

hey guys,

so i lieed...said i wasnt gonna blog, but just couldnt resist :) you guys are just wayyy too awesome :P

so first day of work experience, pretty cool and there are soo many cute little kids, ah felt so emotional..HOPEFULLY TOMORO WILL BE THE SAME :)

last blog for a short period of time :)

hey guyss,

well today i went to get a haircut, and now i have SHORT HAIR :) not that exciting for yu guyss, but it is for me. At first i was pretty upset, but then my mum told me to shut up and stop complaining so thats what i did :) gosh i love my mummy. so anyways

"Some things in life you may regret, but it's already in the past, so why bother wasting time thinking about it now, just accept it, move on and embrace what youve got :)"

Sorry to dissapoint some of my fellow blog readers :P I will not blog for probably a week, so i guess thats it of my blogging everyday thingy. Not much to say, just excited for work experience :) but upset that i dont get to go zone athletics, was so looking forward to it as well :(

Nevertheless, im going to sorta finish my history so then i dont have to do it when i finish work experience, cyaaa love yu guysss ;)

"Some things in life make you laugh, sure, they may be stupid, but this is just fucken hilarious!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we9acnkluvU

I can't believe how brave some people areee, what an inspiration LOL

"Im still here, dont turn back. You may not see it now, but I'll always be there right by your side. Things will change, life will go on, but you can count on me to be there. Don't worry, Im still here =)"

another end to the week!

So, I was just thinking..If someone told you something and you believed them, althought to some it may seem like the most obvious lie ever, yu still manage to look past this and believe them. Is it cs youre stupid or you simply just have trust in them?

I'm feeling UNDENIABLY happy today :) I dunno the reason, I dunno the cause, I just feel *sigh* relieved, for no particular reason whatsoever. But then again, why do yu need a reason to be happy! =)

For some perculiar reason, Im feeling on top of my game, currently at my peak of happiness. Never thought I'd hear myself saying that, but just right now, I feel proud. I feel proud of my happiness, it's not very often that you'll feel THIS happy. gosh

As Celine Dion says, a new day has come :) "hold on and dont shed a tear"

"Don't live your life trying to meet the expectations of others"

It's cos of this person, he/she made me realise whats been going on. I appreciate them a heck of a lot. Thanks :)

"Youre nothing short of my everything. :)"- Ralph Block

sounds cheesy, but meh

"A lot of things happen to you when youre not looking for it"- Taylor Swift

Wow, undeniably genius.

Thursday nights :)

"He may not seem perfect, but I beg to differ"

OMG?! I did my speech today finally, thats one thing thats now officially off my shoulders =)

"I believe confidence and nerves go hand in hand"

Ive never felt confident enough to stand in front of a group of people and just talk. Although they may not care or judge me, on the inside I just feel nervous and there are butterflies fluttering around inside my stomach that makes me sick. People may not see that, but trust me, Im not as confident or brave as you think I might be. After all, everyone has insecurities right? It's amazing and surpising, not only to myself, but I hope to others that I have seemingly become a bit more confident as I dont usually participate in a school leadership position let alone volunteer to make a presentation in class.

This sudden oomph of confidence, it feels strange, slightly unfamiliar but it feels nice :) gives me a sense of achievement, which I havnt felt in a long time. Some things in the past you cant change even if you wanted to, and Im thankful for that :) I wouldnt want to. Sitting here, thinking about random events that have happened in my life, it just puts a smile on my face :)

Can't wait til' work experience, I just cant wait!

Cyaaaa guys, I hope everyone can start to become more confident, If i can do it. so can yu guys, i believe in you:)

always seems like there's something in the way..

"That's a small step for a man, but one giant leap for mankind"

I could be wrong, this is totally just my take on this, and comparing these 2 things. It's not what exactly this quote means but :) okay so, i just wanted to say, taking one step or making one decision could be a major decision, it might seem small but to some it's a huge risk and takes a lot of confidence and effort to perform, even if some dont agree.

I admit I suck at making decisions, cs im scared of the outcome the final result, scared to find out about the ramifications if there are any. It takes a lot to make a choice, even if it seems simple. Who knows whats going to happen?

No one knows, thats the whole idea and concept of life. Who knows what life after death is? Is it even called life anymore? No one can be sure. Sometimes you will be proud of the decisions yu make, and yu will be happy with the fact that yu made the right choice. Sometimes the decisions yu make leave yu feeling weird, upset, but life continues :) Not everythings going to work out for everyone, but youre gonna have to accept what happens, fact of life.

Sounding contradictive? i know.

People can't tell yu youre wrong, cs theyre not yu, in their opinion it might be wrong, but it's up to yu to make the final choice and it's yur idea, so dont let anyone tell yu otherwise! Ive had people tell me things I didnt really wana hear or listen to, but didnt really have a choice, sure some have talked me out of doing things that I wanted to, choices that now I know I shouldve made myself..but it's already too late :)

Hasnt everyone fallen into the arms of peer pressure?

Hmm, whoever hasnt done anything because they were told to, or got influenced by sorten groups or people. WOW, like seriously wow, I wouldnt have thought. Not saying that all peer pressure if a bad thing, sometimes it can turn out great, considering the influences that they put on you.

Whenever youre about to make the move, youre about to take the first step, something seems to be in the way, not literally, but mentally, sometimes yu just doubt yurself, no matter how confident yu were before, one second can change everything. EVERYTHING! one word can change yur life, yur destiny, yur fate LOL sounds gay, but if yu think about it you'll understand.

Say guys for example, easiest example here. So, what if a guy asks yu out, and youre thinking about whether to say yes or no. 99% of the time yu will seek advice or opinions from close friends or family. okay maybe not so much family..but yeah. A simple yes or no answer could mean happiness or sadness for both of yu. If the answer is no, no doubt this will be hard to explain or even say in the first place. In your head you always try and picture the situation, and think of the best way to give them the answer..but yu need to understand that no matter what yu say, they will get hurt, if yu didnt get the answer yu wanted wont yu feel upset?

It's inevitable.

I remember wanting to have that special power, to be able to read people's minds. To be able to see through them, knowing what theyre thinking about. But, now when I think about it, maybe it's not so fun knowing what people are thinking all the time. The good and the bad. I dunno which one outdoes the other.

Mann, anavi and jasmine are the sweetest, happiest people ever. I love being around them, they just somehow make me forget about everything sad and I can just laugh non-stop when Im around them. Thanks heaps guyss :)

p.s. Guyss, if yu think I sound sad all the time on my blog, just trust me. Im not, there are just times when I need some things answered like everyone, even when they sound sad. Im sitting here happy =)

gosh suling, they arent that scaryyyy =) AHAHAAHAHAHA

sometimes yu need to stop and just listen

Once in a while, yu just need to stop focusing on yourself and try and help others around yu. I have 2 friends who are currently going through, or about to go through a tough decision, and Ive been there before, i wouldnt call it an experience, but I have my own opinion on the whole situation. The question is, should I or shouldnt I? Although i can give my opinion, I dont want them to just take my opinion, cs im dodgy, and yu cant take what i say TOTALLY SERIOUSLY!

Everyone's going to be at disco today, well some people, and im glad Im not going, not only is it not my type of fun event, but im tired, restless and I need to start doing work!
I didn’t think there was a definition for love, but when I see him, I think I just found one =) plus JESS IS COOL :P ROFLMAOOOOO
There's a message hidden in here somewhere in this blog :) thought it'd be fun, but if yu find out tell me..cs i want to see if someone can figure out what it says

letting go..?

Letting go..it's a hard thing to do. Im not strong enough to let go..

I think it takes a fair bit for someone to just let go, to just give up.

"Letting go doesn't mean that youre weak, it could mean that youre stong enough to let go" - anonymous


hmmm, idk..it's just the good times, the fun times, the moments we shared, i dont want them to go away. Every moment spent with you, is a moment well spent..

OH NO! Ive caught something! :O

AHAHAHA so they say laughter is contagious..i think so!

I wish i could give yu guys all some of my laughing right now? okay, i dont know what im on about..or what im trying to say, but im hoping yu guys will get it =)

I feel so happy, yet tired, i really should get to sleep..i think its the water, it has a weird effect on me, it makes me happy, for some reason i find the water sweet :S or maybe cs im so happy, everything just seems nice

MUAHAHAHAHAHA i love someone in particular ;) but who? no one will ever know =)

work experience..

everyone sed it was fun, i hope it is for me too :)

I CANT WAIT, not only is it a week of bludging school, i also get to hang out with my friends as well, especially louise ;) AHAHAHAHAHA
we're gonna have so much fun

Its going to be great, not only for me, and my work experiences buddies, but for everyone else, cs they dont have to see me or put up with me for a WHOLE week!
what lucky fellas, aha yes i just sed fellas = =

hmm byeeee guys :)

Im happy when I see a smile on your faceeee =)

AHAHAHA GOSH THATS CHEESY!

today was a pretty average day, no highs and no lows :) omg, caroline is so prone to getting hit, aha, poor thing..:(

Dont yu just get annoyed and bored of people telling yu to do something over and over again? Even tho, yu obviously dont want to do it, otherwise yu woulda already, but they just dont seem to get the point! OMG pats trying to set me up with eric = = its gonna be a massive fail, and i dont even like him..

Is it worth it, to see people happy, or try and make people happy, even tho youre not happy yourself? Well at least youre not selfish right..hmm idk :S

all these questions with no answers, there must be someone who can solve them

laughter gives yu stomach aches :)

In response to my previous blog, i forgot to say, to me, the obvious result is that love smashes flaws..

If someone came up to yu and asked for a bit of help, and yu couldnt help them, isnt it natural to get upset and think that youre useless? That happened to me today,this morning a man with a disability, he couldnt speak properly, came up to me at the train station to ask for help to figure out where to go.. I didn't know, and seeing him going around asking other people and them walking away from him cs he has a disability mad me upset, and im still thinking about it now..Im so angry at myself for not being able to help this man, and others didnt even try either. I even cried, i know, very dramatic, but things like that really make me upset, I even cry in movies, so why wouldnt i do this, this is at least real.

You know sometimes, yu do things, thinking to yurself that it would make yu happier, make yu forget everything bad, and make the people around yu happier as well. gosh, how many times was i wrong, not only are yu trying so hard to make this happen and failing, it just sucks....balls.

I wish everyone could be happy, sounds cheesy, but who doesnt..=) I cant believe i can still sit here everyday, staying strong to write a blog everyday. You would think i have better things to do than this, but i dont LOL.
just work, getting so lazy nowadays. not even funny. i think im failing in every subject, just not italian, even tho italians hardly that important anyways.

REMINDER TO SELF:
- concentrate in class
- do maths homework for once in my life!
- dont jig commerce LOL ankita

....thoughts on today

today was pretty fun, but OMFG i think i still need to learn how to read the times, as i was meant to get to parra at 10 but ended up there at 11. gosh, suling just kept calling me a noob = = but i insist i did read them properly......maybe?

pat is such a douche, i guess its true people have different tastes, gosh he's an idiot! ROFLMAOOOO :)

year one, is the freaking funniest movie ever ! okay, well not ever, but it made me cry, cry of laughter LOL me and ankita, i swear she is so loud, she doesnt even know it.

You know the feeling when yu see someone yu truly care about being bored/sad or what not? I get that..when theyre around yu they just seem like theyd rather be doing anything but be around yu. It hurts, but what can yu do..
You just so desperately wana make them feel better, but how do yu do that? where do yu start? I admit, that sometimes i might not show my emotions as much around certain people, and i guess only i know that. Im happy on the inside! gosh, just dont show it i guess..

Just wishing for him and everyone else to be happy! It always feels nice to have a nice laugh once in a while :) I reckon yu always have to be in the mood to laugh, i could be watching something really funny, but if i dont feel like laughing, nothing comes out, just silence. *boring , hmm so is my blog

bye guys xx

You know that tingly feeling...?

That tingly feeling, the feeling of butterflies fluttering around inside your stomach. Is that you showing signs of nervousness? hmm, i think so. I still remember that time i felt that, it was weird. I didnt know what was making me feel that, but i did. Don't yu just feel happy when yu know that someone else is feeling happy, to hear that someone hasnt had a laugh for a while, and finally did, just puts a smile on my face :) im happy for him/her. Not only was it a laugh, but a laugh that made them ROFLMAOOO aha, anyways.

its pretty early for me to be blogging today..
I had a nightmare last night, which made me lose my sleep, Im just hoping this wont affect me throughout the day, cs not enough sleep makes people moody and tired. Idk, this always happens. Its the start of a brand new day, and the end to a horrible night. So lets see how things turn out. I hope yu guys all have a great weekend. YAY zone athletics tomoro :) so excited, what a bludge ayee ;)

hope today is gonna turn out better than planned. AWESOME!

byee guys xx

love vs flaws?

not everyone will agree on the definition of love, cs theres a different meaning for everyone..

but for me, personally, i dont think i know what love is, never experienced it. sure, when i was a kid i used to go around saying that i loved a certain person, but now thinking back, i realise how stupid that was. so immature.

when yu like a person a lot, yu wont realise their flaws. or at least, if yu do notice, yu dont really care, or dont consider them "flaws" in the first place. its often these so called "flaws" that make yu like them in the first place.

byee guys xx blog later

.............:)

wow, today has been a good day, too good to describe in words :) thats good, considering i dont have many of these days AHAHAHA cs my blogs sound depressed all the time.

well, i listened to the song, you could be happy-snow patrol yesterday, and i saw this animation for it, gosh, it made me cry :( like srsly full teary, im such an emotional person.

cant wait til sunday now :) its going to be a short one for now, i just dont have much to say

byee guys xx

times ticking past

Ever felt like something always seemed to be missing? No matter how AWESOME yu sed your day was, yu just have this feeling it could be better..

It's hard to want something so badly, yet not want it at the same time. Maybe its the fact that yu dont have it, which makes yu just want to try a tad harder to get that, but might lose interest after yu actually do get it. To say that i dont want it at all is a lie, but so do others. Would it be selfish to hold onto something that could possibly be yours, knowing that others want it more than yu?

what would yu do? No matter the outcome, someone will benefit and someone will go home feeling upset and beaten up. It sucks, knowing that you can change all of this, instead of others going through that feeling, when yu can handle it better than others, should yu just drop it..should yu just give it up?

Who knows whats going to happen? cs i dont..

thinking clearly?

hey guys :)

everyone keeps on telling me about how much ive been blogging lately LOL
i feel as tho, blogging has become my friend, aha, sounds sad i know aye = = ROFLMAOOOO!

hmm, so what do i have to say this time?
Was pretty tired today, which could probably explain my extremely bad mood..when im tired i get pretty moody, plus it was raining.

only louise knows how the rain affects me. when its sunny im happy, when its raining im in a shit mood. thats how it works for me. pretty stupid i know.
well, my bad mood plus me thinking about stupid stuff doesnt really make it any better today. Im always thinking about the same thing, constantly, EVERY SINGLE DAY! people are getting sick of it, but im sick of it too.

"The situation isn't complicated, you're just making it complicated. It's so simple. It's easy to solve. Why are you putting yourself through this? No one else is making it hard for you, it's just yourself" - A REALLLY WISE PERSON SAID TO ME :)

I swear i have problems everyday, but when i think back, i realise how freaking stupid they are. im such a drama queen, theyre so pointless, but ive realised whats happening now. NOTHINGS GONNA STOP ME NOW! :)

goals to achieve:
- get 90s in a maths test
- get fit n healthy :)
- learn how to wink ;)
- AHAHAHAHA learn how to sing properly (if thats even possible)
- shall find a new awesome song to get obsessed with lol

cya guys, i know i'll probably blog later anyways byeee :)

28th blog :)

wow, ive been blogging so much lately, its kinda weird
it's kinda become part of my daily routine, i just do it everyday, it has become a must!

For some reason, i cant go to sleep yet. there's something on my mind, but i dont know what it is. im trying to figure it out, but my head just starts hurting..please jess, just figure it out, so yu can have a good nights rest :)

its funny tho, i was REALLY tired like 10 minutes ago, but now, im like wide awake, watching youtube vids and bloggind at this exact moment.

things to learn how to do:
- have to learn how to wink properly ;)
- have to master sworaaz's faces (AHAHAHA SERA! :) )
- get more sleep, cs im always too lazy to get out of bed
- smile more, cs it means im happy :D
- try to stop complaining about my life, like right now :S

i have this weird obsession with weird stuff. i like veins :) AHAHAHA sounds so creepy and stupid, but they look cool..i like bruises :)

hopefully mr wilcox wont choose me to do my english presentation on friday, so then it'll mean i wont have to do it til next thursday or something, most likely :)
im kinda nervous but excited, i kinda really wana do it, but i know i'll get scared when the time comes.

night guys xx SWEETDREAMS :)

mixed emotions

hey guys :)

was just feeling today, a bad of mixed emotions..okay, it sounds weird, but basically im trying to say, yu know how when youre feeling 2 completely different emotions at the exact same time?! weird huh? like, yu could be happy but sad at the same time. maybe you ARE happy, but there's just something stopping yu from being that happy, which makes yu sad? not implying that im sad or whatever, but like sometimes yu just cant help but feel 2 completely different ways.

okay well, i was thinking of these guys..i have no idea why, but i was wondering..does your body determine how hot yu are? does looks REALLY matter?
some say yes, some say no. i just think the people who say yes are more honest than the ones that say no. yu know that they do care, up to an extent..like, who would go out with an ugly person right? its just people have different ideas on who's ugly and who's hot in their minds. no one's right or wrong, we just all have different views :)



for example..some chicks or guys haha, wuld think that this guy has a hot body, like he's tank and all, like really tank. but to some, like me. i think its too much..but thats honestly just my opinion. no one has to agree with me, but doesnt mean im wrong. I remember I used to think that Chad Michael Murray and Channing Tatum were SOOO FREAKING HOT I'D JUST DIEE FOR THEMMMM :) *drools *blushes
but now, since im getting older, maybe im just getting over them. or i realised i can NEVER get them :( AHAHAHA how sad man





I know what it feels like to be jealous of what someone else has.. I wish i had that body, hair, clothes, intelligence, personality, friends, popularity, GUY. All these factors are the things that determine how happy you are.
I used to go on diets, study, try being someone else im not, just to please everyone and myself. If i cant convince myself, what makes me think I can convince others to believe in this "new" me, that even i cant accept. now, that ive had my good friends help me, i have come to the realisation that im fine with myself. diets make me hungry LOL not being able to eat the food yu enjoy, i cant do that AHAHAHA seraaa :)

CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH BROKEN STRINGS ;)

formals coming up :) and im sure everyone's gonna try and look their best :) maybe to impress someone ;) LOL although there's no point me really getting dressed up, im still going to anyways :) cs what girl doesnt want to look nice on a special day?
WHAT TO WEAR? WHAT TO WEAR? WHAT TO WEAR? :S
im so looking forward to this and my work experience :) but thats one week i wont be able to see someone for :'( LOL cheer up jess :) yes, im talking to myself = =

what a tiring night?!

well its only 10:27pm, but it feels later than that..idk, im just so exhausted and tired..even tho i havnt done shit today. srsly
was gonna start doing history, but that didnt turn out so well. the furthest i got was to turning the page. gosh. whats happening to me.

I remember coming home, feeling dead and somewhat annoyed, emotional :S
but now, im currently feeling better, and ready for another good nights rest. its so cold nowadays, but luckily my lovely mummy bought me a electric blanket :)
which means no more cold nights for moi! :)

Q: What do pirates throw over the side of their ship?
A: GARRRRRRRRrrrrrrbage

so bored, that i decided to look up pirate jokes. man, our maths class is weird, freaking weird maths pick up liness..only nerds would get :) AHAHAHA
so well i got 89% in 2 unit and 72% in 3 unit. pretty dissapointing, but i will try harder next time :)

they say, what doesnt kill you doesnt hurt you right..mmhmm not so much. i wish :(
alright guys, shall curl up into my bed with my electric blanket :D night guys, love yus all xx

WHAT A HOTTIE! ;)

Isn't he just so hot, *drools LOL i have now found a new crush ahahaha :)

friends with benefits ;)

AHAHAHAHA wow, im pretty slow :(

cant believe in the span of 2 weeks or less, there have already been 2 new couples on the block :)

im so happy, so happy for all 4 of them :) its just so cute. dont yu just love people who love each other?

its so freaking cute, but it just makes me think i have no one :( LOL loneeerrrr..
ah so sad, but who cares, not me :) gees im so contradictive lol.


OH OH OH ! AHAHAHA if yu head it backwards its HO HO HO! anyways, that wasnt what i was gonna say, just realised that..
yu know when people tell yu to do something? and yu know in yur head that they are right, but somehow yu just cant seem to do it? i get that feeling, constantly being told he's not the one for yu, even i dont know what it is that makes me like him, but it's "something" when i figure it out it'll be good, so then i actually know AHAHAHAHA = = so gay

5:43 pm

hmm, again with the time's, i swear sounds like im doing this on purpose but srsly arent = =...sometimes just the littlest things in life can make yu happy? :)

why is it that one person can change your day? it can be from awesome to not so great, or from ordinary to best day of your life! i guess its just another one of those things that you'll never understand.

You know how they say your close friends, can always tell what youre thinking, or they can sense when youre feeling down. hmm, im not sure..not only are some people hard to read but sometimes the person themselves dont even know when theyre feeling down :( but one things for sure, yu can always count on yur friends to cheer yu up :)

why is it that im so weak? on the inside i feel strong, i feel like a man, a man with a dream, LOL okay, im gonna stop with that. i know what i want, yet its not gonna make a difference.. It's worser knowing what yu want and not being able to get/achieve it. it hurts cs yu have a goal, yu have an idea. but that idea will never come true. whats a girl suppose to do? :S

omg, so freaking scared today..was so scared of having to present my english, cs its honestly shit..and i cant speak in front of people. and HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN! :)

You know how sometimes, someone walks past yu, or yu look at them and they just put a smile on your face :) a smile so wide, that after yu mouth starts to hurt. ive had that before. whenever yu see them, they just make yu feel all tingly inside, literally like butterflies flying around inside of yu..feels weird, but nice at the same time.

Ever gotten so angry at someone that yu just let it all out, without even realising? ..i guess everyone has. sometimes its not what they say, but because its the person who says it. it just makes all the difference. its not even what they sed was that bad, its just yu dont like them judging yu, or placing their opinions on yu. you dont want them to feel that way about yu, which is why yu get so upset..

promise to self:
Dear Jess,
i hope everyday yu just continue to have a smile on your face,
and once in a while just have a laugh,
with someone, at someone or even at yourself :)
just remember, if youre happy
so will everyone else, cs they dont have to deal with your shit :)
not that i have much...lol that wasnt meant to be gross btw = =
*just for some guys who were like ewwwwwww f off :) naah kidding

cant wait til sunday,
i shall organise another movie date :) AHAHAHAHA
i srsly need to get better at planning, cs im failing
TERMINATOR 2 :)

i will blog again later :)
even tho ive sed that so many times, but never done so quite yet :(

10:10 pm

AHAHAHA what great timing, its currently 10:10 pm and my bday's on the 10/10 LOL im so cool..

today has been a good day :) sera is the best person to make your life that much more happier. even tho she always gives me the sworaaz face, cs she thinks im cracking a joke when im not. LOL douche - -
but i love her :P

well, im currently working on my english presentation still..:(

You know when you start growing physically? and yu can see the changes, the shoes and clothes that you dont fit into anymore. the things you used to love, and the new found loves, but something still feels the same?
LOL it doesnt make sense, but im sure we have all been through that..remember those times that people called yu a kid, even tho somehow yu felt like yu were mature? someone constantly telling yu to grow up...to start behaving like yur age. but a part of yu is just like no, or yu already feel like yu are :)

arent yu sick of the people telling yu that they hate blogspot? but then theyre like, oh i'll read yours later. WTTTFFFF that doesnt make any sense to me, so just shut up :) AHAHAHAHA *yu know who you are = ="

who doesnt wish they could take back the past? who doesnt want to know what's going to happen in the future? who hasnt wished they had some sort of magical power? LOL, i know that somethings you just cant take back, and it'll always be stuck in the past, but yu still have this urge to want to change it and yu think that the more yu try, maybe there's a better chance of it coming truee. thats stupid, as they all say. but it still doesnt stop me from thinking that. :)

everyone's entitled to their own opinions right? hmmm. and this blog has taken me a fair while to finish, as im a nerd and a good girl ive been finishing/practicing my speech in front of an audience LOL

gotta go sleep soon night guys xx

people and their differences

I recently read princeseraaa's blog, and it says stuff about how people reckon blogspot is shiet. but whatever srsly, people have their own opinions. Personally, i love blogspot, it just makes me feel relieved and stuff when i say stuff on it. lol

anyways, my cousins came over today. it was surprisingly nice. yu know sometimes yu just get that feeling, that youre getting older, and you just dont get along with your cousins as much anymore, cs youre too old for them. althought im still quite a kid myself =)

i stayed up til like 2 this morning doing my english, gosh, im so dedicated LOL

i thought i had heaps to say but i really dont right now, my brain just feels like mush, so when i think of stuff i want to say then i'll say it.

byee guys, blog later :)

wow, its been a week already

since this day, one week ago..i decided to do something that i thought was right, but wrong at the same time. i thought that by doing this it would remove all the baggage and make me happier..i dont know if that worked out lol.

i feel pretty much the same, a mixture of good and bad days, which im sure is the same as everyone else. i know it sounds stupid to say, im just gonna take everyday, a step at a time, day by day and see how everything works out, im not gonna look forward to anything or plan anything, so im open to surprises and change.

mmhmmm, everyone says that..ah, so it doesnt make me any smarter or special haha. but still, thats what i shall do, take days as it comes, tbh, a day cant be bad, if yu didnt expect it to be good right?

pretty or beautiful?

AHAHAHA okay well firstly this is pretty random...i was watching this youtube video, and it just sounded so nice and like made me feel good..

so whats the difference the chick from youtube says. + a bit of my translation :P

basically it's:

"Everyone can be pretty, but not everyone can be beautiful! :)" wow, thats really good. plus reasonings as well..
becos pretty is more a physical outer shell, like body, face etc. but beauty is more the WHOLE package, like including your soul and stuff..
have no idea if this is making any sense..

its more important to feel good about yourself than to put on a fake "YOU"? the fine line between confidence and egoism? lol, i dont think thats a word, but hopefully yu guys get what i mean :) surely, people can fake confidence, some people can see through it, but depends on how far yu go, yu sometimes end up hurting other people'd confidence in the process, or often come across too strong, and leads to becoming egotistic..hmm, my choice, idk.

different people's perceptions of your character can really hurt yu, like even if yu often dont take notice in that moment of time, yu will often find yurself thinking over it agen right? or is it just me..lol. it's like me saying that i dont care anymore and i wont think about what others say, but in the back of my mind thats EXACTLY what i'll be doing. is that a crime?

AHAHAHAHA louise, we better go shopping :)even tho im very very broke..

who believes in once a liar always a liar? i guess i do sorta, like in the back of my head agen, like sometimes sarcasm can be taken as lying..ah idk. this isnt making any sense to anyone, except for me..well practically im trying to say..trying to re-word this for yu guys :)

by saying one lie, or being sarcastic once, yu can lose people's trust, they will no longer believe anything yu say, or will be too confused to know whether its the truth or not. the feeling of someone not trusting yu hurts, im sure everyone's been through that. no matter HOW FREAKING HARD YOU TRY AND CONVINCE THEM THEY WONT FUCKEN BELIEVE YOU! doesnt it just piss yu off sometimes? i guess in a way yu did deserve it.
LOL btw im in a really happy mood, so dw im not emo, pissed or watever :)

birthdays!

was just thinking again! yeah i know, i think a fair bit aye lol

well, yu know how birthdays symbolise like yur existance and stuff? if someone doesnt know your bday does it mean that they dont know yu exist? :S
haha, maybe things dont work that way..

so tired of getting told what to do, even tho yu know yu should do it. lol, gees dont i like to complain! sed i wasnt going to, but look at me goooooooo..
english is due in 2 days and im still writing this blog instead of doing that, why have i become so lazy..

i cant explain,
just looking at the time, i remember i used to get so happy when i went to sleep at 12:34am lol, how stupid is that. i just thought it was special, cs i didnt plan on going to sleep at that time, but it just happened, gosh shut up jess

13th JUNEEE ! ;)

alright guys, its the 13th, i think thats a lucky number....for some lol.

yeah louise, i had a pretty boring day as well. i think its cs i woke up early, so i felt sleepy. anyways,
well, i went btown today, thinking that i was gonna get a fair bit done, but oh my doesnt time just fly. god, cant believe i just sounded like a fag = =
whoever wants to see i love you man, STOP! think about it, cs to me it was shit..like really shit, ive never actually slept in a movie before becos it was that shit, just felt like a waste of time..and yeah just dont watch it, i warned yu guys :)

even tho i sed it was a boring day, i have to admit that it would've been better than doing english, although now i will have to do that as well with lesser time = =" gees wasnt that stupid, im sure it coulda been worse tho, but bcos someone went, i just felt a little better..:)

AHAHAHA..well while i was in the shower, i have no idea why i was thinking about this, but like the people who look strong on the inside, are usually the weakest on the inside..crying isn't a sign of weakness, it could mean that youre strong? does that even make any sense?! ah louise would get me..

man, i cant remember the last time i went out with louise, on a proper bestie outing lol, srsly why do i sound like such a faggot. hmm, so during the movie, i cant believe those 2 words were mentioned..like full randomly.

"GIVING UP DOESNT ALWAYS MEAN YOURE WEAK, IT COULD MEAN THAT YOURE STRONG ENOUGH TO LET GO! " wow, doesnt that help,

regret? what is it? hmm, i was just wondering, yu know how everyone regrets stuff..how can yu exactly stop yurself from regretting something? cs how do yu know you'll regret it until it happens. they say you learn from yur mistakes..but how do yu? maybe yu dont believe its a mistake and even if everyone disagrees, yu still manage to stand by yur decision and believe everything yu did was right.
i get that, do yu? there's one thing i regretted doing, or at least i thought, but when i think about it more..it's not really worth regretting, sure maybe it was a waste of time as some say, but how are they meant to judge, theyre not me, they wouldnt understand the feeling.

that "feeling" can be the best thing in the world yet the worst thing in my life, how is that so? i cant answer that either, if there were answers to everything, wouldnt that make life simpler? lol idk..if that world was that simple wouldnt it be boring? some people spend their lives looking for answers, looking high, looking low, they find enjoyment out of doing things like that, how come i dont?

the feeling of waiting for that one answer, im just not strong enough or brave enough to take it, sometimes i'd rather just imagine the answer but not getting told..just pretending or even lying to myself just to get that tingly butterfly feeling out of my stomach!

oh enough of all this crap, this is boring me out and im sure yu guys as well
HAPPY BIRHTDAY SHARON! she's so cuteee ;)
love yu and others xx

last day of the week

hey guys, its the time of the day agen, my AWESOME blog :)

okay, so a few things from sytycd today, *sytycd=so you think you can dance btw* i saw this lady on it, who had some disease thing, which was very upsetting for me for some reason, i thought i could feel the pain, when obviously i couldnt.. im so lucky for what i got, and i'll try not and complain anymore about certain things that are pointless, i mean at least im healthy and in good condition :)

then there was this guy on it, who did such a meaningful dance, his aunty had past away, and he used the umbrella as a symbol for his aunty and saying how its similar as his aunty is covering over him and looking after him, just like that umbrella :) it was so sweet and cute, i could have bawled my eyes out. :'(

2 words that will bug me for the rest of my life, i knew she told me cs she was trying to help, and me saying that everything was fine, but now the more i think about it, it DOES bug me, as much as i try and convince myself that im finee and shit, its just not working, "the one", how do yu know?! just ah, im over it :) LOL

i guess its just one of those moment things that i dont understand, and that i really just wana scream, but when i think about it, i should really get over it, cs i sed so plus i made a promise to myself.

thanks guys again, for reading my blog
LOL love yu guys heaps xx

wow 15th :)

....i SOOO cant believe this is my 15th post already, and should i say, i havnt left anyday out yet so far, how very proud i am of myself ;)

well, i went to the plaza today and YES i bought clothes again, maybe im the type of person who just CANT save, no matter how hard they try...:S
well now to what i bought:
a grey jacket :) (im so obsessed with jackets lately, bought 4 or 5 this week :0 )
a cream coloured cardigan (gosh, they make me feel so cosy and warm inside :P )
2 belts
and leggings, the shiny type, they feel so nice, LOL
ive just been feeling my legs the whole time, sounds weird, but nice :)
man, i cant say LOL without thinking of LOLFISH nowww :( gosh pat, why didnt yu stop me, yu knew curiosity would get to me, and it prevailed, yu won, im scarred for life now, HOPE YOURE HAPPY! aha

curiosity? doesnt it just happen to everyone, sometimes yu find things out that are oh so very nice :) but sometimes they can be SOO BAD, they'll make yu upset, angry, pissed etc. JUST BAD, yu guys get my drift :)

GOSH BROKEN STRINGS IS SO MY SONG!! ;) im directing this at someone, yu know who you are if youre reading this LOL..man, i cant stop listening to this song, it just makes me feel nice but sad at the same time, such a meaningful song :)

shopping makes me feel better, maybe i am a shopoholic LOL, even on my worst days shopping can cheer me up, if i have money that is..AHAHAHA! window shopping isnt that bad, okay i should shut up about shopping, probably boring a heap of yu guys :P

still making plans for saturday, making it AWESOME and inviting everyone to just relax, shoot some people :)

i found out something today, im so happy for them :) kinda obviously probably, but its soo cutteeee :) i love it when i see people laughing, smiling, HAPPY :)

this week has been great so far, i hope it continues :) i cant wait til work experience, i get to spend a whole week with my buddies ALONE ;) AHAHAHAHA naah kidding, but it'll be funny, stupid etc etc. just fun :)

blog later, cs i feel like blogging today :)
love ya guys, ta xx

10/6/09

alright, 4 months til my bday :)
AHAHAHAHA i realised that in maths today, omg, cs its maths = =" i just realised that LOL anyways,

school is so quite, without suling and cla and kat and gels and janine and so forth
i cant wait til its my turn to go work experience with my buddies :) ESPECIALLY LOUISE :D

so, i got home today, went online and vj starts talking to me, at first i thought it was weird, then he started calling me fat and sed he hated me. Me being me, i thought it was a joke and kept on LOL-ing but, then he kept talking and saying mean stuff, so i had no idea if he was kidding NO MORE :(

does saying sorry really make a difference? i guess it depends on the person..

oh gosh, from now on, i think i need to get fitter, physical fitness is so S-H-I-T its not even funny..touch was so tiring for me, i dont see how the other girls do it, and this is only the first time, imagine doing it EVERY WEEK! maybe its the fact i havnt done proper sport for like 7 weeks! okay maybe like 3 or 4 but still heaps

this whole saving money plan, is so not working out, why did i decide to save when it's stocktake, im so NOT a genius :( but ah well, i think i'll just use everything and then after i shall save :)

okay, now for the exams. apparently i got 70% for commerce, people in my class says its good, but honestly its just crap, yeah dont even try me.. maths test today was alright i guess, ive been studying for it, and i will be devastated if i dont beat the last test :( i studied my butt off and even sacraficed a few shopping trips just for it. BIG DEAL FOR ME OKAY!

whats the point of a blog? it's for someone to vent everything, or just share their day and emotions with whoever wants to read it, dont read it and complain srsly, if someone was having a bad day, you would make it worse and if they were having a good day, yu woulda ruined it. sometimes maybe keeping opinions to yourself is better and nicer. WE ALL NEED THAT ONCE IN A WHILE :)

my blogs are getting longer each time, i dont understand why, nm really happens in my life. currently feeling happy, ive let everything go now and im just gonna focus on studies, cs idk why LOL

love you guys xx

another day, another blog :)

today was an alright day, LOL i went home at 2, cs i was planning on studying one hr more than everyone else in my class, but faillleeeddd :( lmao.

everyone always says "Don't worry about it, it's in the past, just focus on the future!"
well, duh, obviously yu cant do anything about it, thats why we moan and groan, cry and fake laugh etc. seriously, i mean if we could change it, do yu think we'd be freaking complaining ! LOL so hypocritical, cs this is me. i say this to people, people say it to me. i hate it, but i love it at the same time. i mean, at least theyre wasting their time, TRYING to cheer you up and make yu feel better. :)

yu know that feeling? the feeling of certainty, that yu know what youre doing is right and youre 100% sure of that, and no one or anything could ever even make yu hesitate for a second? that used to be me, but now, im so unsure of he road ahead of me, i think i need a guide, a guide to take me on a tour around this place called life.

if only it wasnt me who had to be the one making decisions, cs im so bad at making them. I even got a coin to help me decided whether i should go somewhere or not. I cant survive, im so lost, physically and mentally LOL put me somewhere and ask me to find the way home, guess what? you'll never see me return home EVER!
i am one lost case :)

i guess the only good thing, is that i know i have friends that will help me find the way and guide me back home. home*stands for something else geniuses out there ;)

OHHHH and i had my maths test today, i think i did alright surprisingly :) i dont want to get too hyped, just in case it turns out shit. just need to beat caroline by 10% :S seems like a big ask i know :) but but but, english results came back and i got shit, and like literally SHIT 61% :) ah, im such a fob, wouldnt be surprised if there were spelling mistakes in thisssssssss! oh well, wouldnt really be complaining if thomas and jafar didnt beat me = = im so happy for louise, she's done so good in everything so far :) i love yu love, AHAHAHAHAH get it? okay, im just too nerdy to actually say funny jokes, even when im trying..

anyways, one test down, one more to go tomoro, the final and massive one :D gosh, im sorta pumped, i wana do better this time to prove to people i can do it.

even tho things change everyday, some things just dont change that easily, i know, hard to understand but true. if that made any sense whatsoever. gosh guys, this is a long one. honestly, i love blogging becos sera got me into it and me and louise read each others blogs all the time, its like what we do when we cant talk to each other, we just know when each other are gonna blog! :L AHAHAHA not really, but this is for louise :)


alright, byee guys, 3 unit tomoro :)

dear jess

Dear Jess,

you are strong and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, this goes for everyone else too..:)

gosh, i love my life :D

long weekend

hey guys,

so return home today, and i realise it's a monday. yeah i know, took me that long to realise, AHAHAHAHA im such a noob :)

anyways, i need to ring louise now and thomas keeps telling me to study, so i figured i should!

alright, love yu guys
p.s. i dont think my so called plan is going very well, keep thinking about him ARRRGGGHHHHH i bet this is gonna fail.....miserably :(

before the night ends

okay, since ive decided to post a new blog up everyday, i cant let this end, since there's only 10 mins left, and idk what to say, but have to fit this in before the night ends..and im just thinking and typing at the same time and there are so many mistakes, i have no idea what to say.

OKAY so here it goes..
well i went to louise's and daniels house today, was pretty fun i guess :) but i hang out with sharon the most, gosh i love her.

I cant thank yu enough for today louise, i just let everything out, the best way to cure thoughts is to go on a walk through a park/place where you havnt been before and just write everything out..LITERALLY

okay well, its been one day or to be more precise, 23hrs and 40 mins since ive decided to give up on him, is it working, im not quite sure tbh LOL, its too early to tell, but i know if i keep thinking about it then i wont :) so, lets stop now
i'll tell yu guys how it goes. but i wrote this out to myself today in the dirt, AHAHAHAHA dear jess: you are strong :) at least im going to try and be in the near future starting from today.

GOSH I LOVE LOUISE you are awesome, and thanks for everything yu did. im sorry how i dont tell yu stuff sometimes, i just dunno how to say it :( ily

okay before the night is finished, lets publish this goody :)

night guys xx blog tomoro maybe..wait i have to, to continue my streak

its time!

from this point on, i have decided it's time i should let go

no more crying in the middle of the night, no more wet pillows
there wont be any more tears over this person, its over, im no longer gonna cry. im going to be a man :)

it's clear, it was always clear, i was the ONLY one who got it muddled up, everyone knew it, but didnt want to tell me, it hurts more when yu start gaining confidence. I cant even describe how upset i am, but after this day, i will NO LONGER let the tears overtake me, my emotions wont win no more...IM GOING TO BE STRONG :)


i hope everyone has a great day, since it's currently 12:14 am ;)

today and planss

....alright :)

so FIRST of all, cousins came over today in a VERRRRY VERRRYY LONG TIME
almost too long, anyways, tis was fun, i went shopping with my grandma and aunty, it was weird tho, my grandma is soo slow at walking, guess i shuldve expected it, but i just stormed off.
Didn't buy as much as i thought i would, but i did end up buying that shirt for Louise, ....FINALLLLYYY! lucky her :)

then at work, I saw ANITAAA :) omg, i missed her so much, its been like 2 years since i last saw her, she's still the sameee :D AWESOOOMMMMEEE!

now, oh i remember, its weird knowing that this morning i woke up feeling really sad, i was just thinking, how can yu feel sad when its a brand new day and NOTHING has happened yet? well, i realised why..it was cs i was thinking about stuff all night in my sleep, i know aye, HOW SAD! :(

LOL i shuld really just not think about things, but its not gonna work.
If the person you like doesnt say what yu want them to say, its obvious youre going to feel down/sad/pissed/angry/emo etc. but meh, its a new day and i get to go shopping!!!! :) so i was happy enough

well tomoro, im going over louise's house and then daniels to eat cheesecake lols, kinda feel bad, just to go over to eat food...but im sure he wont mind :)

okay im bored, and im sure yu guys are as well from reading my stupid blog for today. love yu guys. byeeee xx

new and improved

Jess: Hey sera, dont yu reckon this is true- the person who can make you the happiest is the one that makes you the saddest

Prince Sera: No no no, it's more like the person who has the ability to make you the happiest, is the one who can hurt you the most!

Jess: WOAH! that sounds smart sera :) AHAHAHAHA!

*starts writing

Prince Sera: Your going to put that on your blog aren't you?

Jess: YEAAA! howd yu know?

Prince Sera: Its obvious! :)

so here it is,
"THE PERSON WHO CAN MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST IN LIFE ALSO HAS THE ABILITY TO HURT YOU THE MOST!"

yeaaa, i know aye. Sometimes i wish that i didnt care so much, then maybe it wouldnt hurt so much, but its not up to me to not care you know? like telling myself not to care wont make it happen or make it any easier, and there's no way im gonna try forgetting about it, bcos it just ends up with me thinking about it even moree. After reading suling's blog, I really feel what she's saying, you might not show any signs or emotions when something bad is happening to yu, but that doesnt mean youre not feeling anything at all !

JUST HOPING IT ALL GETS BETTER FOR EVERYONE! :)

HERE IT GOESSS !

okay, so we all know its friday.....again.

dw, this isnt going to be sad, cs according to jasmine GGG, my posts are always sad:(
sooo NOT true.

first of all, WOOOOOAHHHH its friday
BUTTTT? crap, i have to study for maths = = and according to sarah im an idiot and suck at maths :( AHAHAHAHAHA dude, i was exxagerating :) DUHHHH

well HIGHLIGHTS of the day:
- PRINCE SERRAAA and I enjoyed a lovely MASSIVE choc-chip muffin from the canteen, which has pretty much become part of our daily food intake.
While the canteen lady was watching us weirdly, while we sussed out every muffin there was, deciding which one to get, LOL, we are just THAT cool. we finally picked one, and then went to go put it in the microwave...

....and guess what? THENNNN we were freaking arguing over how long we should put it in for, ROFLMAOOOO gosh, i said 17 and she sed 18 = =" EVEN THO it wouldnt make that much of a difference, we thought we should argue anyways :) ANNNNDD AND AND just to piss me off she press the button at 16 secs LOLLLL !

OMG OMG OMG ! just to make felix feel better, I LOVE YOU FELIX AHAHAHAHAHA ! you are finally on my blog as you wished :) and caroline is cool ;) LOLOL! :) hope yu guys are both happy now. :D

SOOOO...careers WOULD be fun, if we NEVER EVER, and i mean NEVER EVER sit next to Nathan and Ian for as long as we can. Sera's great plan to shove them into the corner of the room is a GREAT idea, but i have a feeling even that wouldnt SHUT THEM UP ! :(

OMG PRINCE SERAAAA- BINTERVIEW ! = =" lammmeeee lols

EWWWWWW i just remembered the grossest thing ever, i was at work today and KATHERINE got scarred for life, AHAHAHAHA she saw this man peeing outside on Gail's car, LMAOOO that is ewww gross, sorry for everyone that just found out about it. but omg, she has scarred me as well.

hmmm?

GOSH i REALLY need to study,
and i just realised today, that theres only like 4 months til formal, and i havnt even started thinking about what im gonna wear :S
its gonna take me agess, oh well, i will get everyone to go together, just for more opinions :)

AHAHAHA ! seraaa's laugh is the cutest thing ive ever heard, she made me cry of laughter ;) and us going crazy over our awesome science marks, or at least we thought they were good :P ahhh well *hi-5 ;)

i still remember how i wanted to go with someone to formal, i guess im kinda over it now, cs im gonna get upset if i dont go with who i want to, but i still have LOUISE:)

alright, shuld go study now, hope yu guys had a great day xx

blogging is a drug

omg, i swear louise and janine are right
blogging can get so addictive, im constantly turning on my comp just to say something, just to let it out.

It's weird, i never realised how hypocritical i was until now, i know, took my time aye. but anyways
I always tell me friends to let it out when they have a problem, when theyre frustrated, upset, confused :S
I think letting it out just lets the weight drop off your shoulders, but then again, wen it comes to me, i dont think i could do the samee.

Louise made me realise this truth, i thought i was finee, but she insisted i wasnt, lols, and i realised i wasnt, she's always right. like woah :O i thank her so bloody much, all those times on the phone, my mum/grandma/sister/brother yelling at me to get off the phone, but i always insist 5 more minutes, till i HAVE TO get off the phone :)

I LOVE YOU LOUISE ! and idk where i'd be without yuu. xx :)

omg, im now on a plan to save up, which probably wont be that hard since i should be studying and etc etc. but louise is going shopping tomoro lucky biatccchhh ;(

night guys, go to sleep rebels :P

realisation :)

.....okay
i cant believe im addicted, maybe janine is right, it does get ADDDICCCTTTIVVVEEE !
well today was a pretty shit day, but i realised everyone must get a shit day once in a while right?
yea yea, maybe im being a drama queen, just deal with it srsly...everyone has to do that once in a while right?

hmm, so i was thinking, maybe it's not right, like this is just what i think. Everyone has different opinions, but this is what i think:

WAYS TO DETERMINE THAT YOURE NORMAL
- been hypocritical ( don't lie, im sure you all have)
-lied to someone that you really cared about (even tho yu think it was a good idea at the time and STILL do)
-liked someone that yu know yu shouldnt
-liked someone and them not liking yu back :(
-plans on saving money but it never ACTUALLY working out ($$$$$)
-thought yu looked sexy, but in fact looked slutty (according to somee) ;)
-females only ! wanted to eat that piece of chocolate but scared it was gonna make yur arse look big lols, (dw, we all have insecurities)
-WANTING TO HAVE SOME SORT OF MAGICAL POWER
-being able to read people's minds and ESPECIALLY what he's thinking (mmmhmmm) :S
-NOT KNOWING HOW TO SAY NOOO!!! (gosh, its so hard)

If you havnt felt one or more of these things, youre such an inspiration :) I wish i could do the same, but even if i try REALLLLYYY HARD and i mean REALLY hard, i know i will just be a massive fail. Let me know if yu disagree..:P

love you guys, xx

Just another day

hey guys,

another day has gone past, and im still bothered to do these blogs, it's such determination from me :)

im like dead tiredd, but i can still find the energy to do this.
well, i got my results back for italian and english today.
and eeek english is so NOT my subject, i faillleeeddddd :(
but italian like woah :O i did wayy better than i had expected, which im really proud of :)

man, kat and suling were being idiots today, and i get soo embarrassed :P like, it just makes me feel weird cs i have no idea how to react. and my page is pretty boring atm, but i promise i will edit it next week :) cs its shithouse atm, like
U-G-L-Y!

wow, but from a lovey dovey view, i think i talked to him more today, but its weird cs even if he's being slack to me, i actually dont mind = = thats how stupid i am..
for people out there who havnt really liked anyone, yu probably just think im a total noob, but yeah yu wont get me and i'll stop going on about *cough

cya guys, i need to be studying :S
love it, hate it, whatever ! if yu dont like it dont read it? its simple xx

WOOOOW !

woah hey guyss ;)

finally, i have gotten off my lazy arse and made a blog argggghhhh, geez im so NOT-lazy today :)

ive realised how cold it is, and it's times like these that you wish you had someone to cuddle up to, but since im not lucky enough, i'll just snuggle up in my bedd.

mannn, i would say..today was pretty crapola, sooo borrreeed, probably just mee, but yu know, i dont get much done in my lifee, just the same old same old EVERRRYYYYDAAAYYY!

i guess it's enough for one day, i mean, i just got bothered to make this blog.
love it, hate it, whatever ! you wouldnt be reading my blog if yu actually had a life :) AHAHAHA!


kidding :) keep reading it xx wait for another day, it'll get better, trust me :)