mixed emotions

hey guys :)

was just feeling today, a bad of mixed emotions..okay, it sounds weird, but basically im trying to say, yu know how when youre feeling 2 completely different emotions at the exact same time?! weird huh? like, yu could be happy but sad at the same time. maybe you ARE happy, but there's just something stopping yu from being that happy, which makes yu sad? not implying that im sad or whatever, but like sometimes yu just cant help but feel 2 completely different ways.

okay well, i was thinking of these guys..i have no idea why, but i was wondering..does your body determine how hot yu are? does looks REALLY matter?
some say yes, some say no. i just think the people who say yes are more honest than the ones that say no. yu know that they do care, up to an extent..like, who would go out with an ugly person right? its just people have different ideas on who's ugly and who's hot in their minds. no one's right or wrong, we just all have different views :)



for example..some chicks or guys haha, wuld think that this guy has a hot body, like he's tank and all, like really tank. but to some, like me. i think its too much..but thats honestly just my opinion. no one has to agree with me, but doesnt mean im wrong. I remember I used to think that Chad Michael Murray and Channing Tatum were SOOO FREAKING HOT I'D JUST DIEE FOR THEMMMM :) *drools *blushes
but now, since im getting older, maybe im just getting over them. or i realised i can NEVER get them :( AHAHAHA how sad man





I know what it feels like to be jealous of what someone else has.. I wish i had that body, hair, clothes, intelligence, personality, friends, popularity, GUY. All these factors are the things that determine how happy you are.
I used to go on diets, study, try being someone else im not, just to please everyone and myself. If i cant convince myself, what makes me think I can convince others to believe in this "new" me, that even i cant accept. now, that ive had my good friends help me, i have come to the realisation that im fine with myself. diets make me hungry LOL not being able to eat the food yu enjoy, i cant do that AHAHAHA seraaa :)

CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH BROKEN STRINGS ;)

formals coming up :) and im sure everyone's gonna try and look their best :) maybe to impress someone ;) LOL although there's no point me really getting dressed up, im still going to anyways :) cs what girl doesnt want to look nice on a special day?
WHAT TO WEAR? WHAT TO WEAR? WHAT TO WEAR? :S
im so looking forward to this and my work experience :) but thats one week i wont be able to see someone for :'( LOL cheer up jess :) yes, im talking to myself = =